Friday, December 28, 2012

Faye Resnick Buys New Digs in L.A.

BUYER: Faye Resnick and Everett Jack Jr.
LOCATION: Los Angeles, CA
PRICE: $1,605,000
SIZE: 2,567 square feet, 3 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms

YOUR MAMAS NOTES: We know some of the more high fallutin' children are gonna fuss and holler about how Your Mama ought to discuss some of the more high brow real estate activities of late such as how Tinseltown executive Michael Eisner just dropped $8,200,000 to snatch up the Tudor style mini-mansion on a shy acre immediately next door to his already super-luxe two-plus acre two-parcel estate in L.A.'s uppity East Gate area of Bel Air.

Howevuh, hunties, Your Mama just can't resist us an honest to goodness  D-list celebrity, especially a sassy-pants one like Faye Resnick who pops up good and regular on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (RHOBH) as an unapologetic defender of others' honors and a self-assured shit stirrer in a sequined blouse.

Miz Resnick, who happens to be besty-b.f.f. with RHOBH cast member Kyle Richards, has been on the sidelines of Showbiz since at least the mid-1990s when she testified at the murder trial of O.J. Simpson, posed in her birthday suit for Playboy and wrote a two controversial tell-all memoir about the brutal murder of her friend Nicole Brown Simpson. Today she toils as an interior decorator with a short list of celebrity clients who include hotel heiresses Paris and Nicky Hilton, former boy-banker Nick Lachey and actor Kevin Connolly.

Thanks to our ever-intrepid informant Yolanda Yaketyyak we learned on Christmas Day that Miz Resnick and her man-friend fiancée Everett Jack Jr. coughed up $1,605,000 for a two-parcel micro-estate in the Hollywood Hills that's set high above the street up a long, upsloping gated driveway where it's encircled by a thick stand of mature trees that ensures celebrity style privacy.

Listing information shows the two-story house was originally built in 1948 and measures a fairly modest 2,567 square feet with three bedrooms and 3.5 bathrooms. The renovated but entirely uninspired interior spaces include hardwood floors and a fireplace in the open plan living/dining area on the upper level, swanky commercial style stainless steel appliances in the center island kitchen, limestone tiles in the master bathroom, a lower level family room flanked by en suite guest bedrooms that open through French doors to a deep veranda that over looks the swimming pool that's shaped like an obese kidney bean. Somewhere on the property there's a trellis shaded outdoor barbecue kitchen and across the small motorcourt from the main house up behind the detached two car garage there's a couple of secluded areas perfect for quiet contemplation, meditation and/or weed smoking.

But it's really no matter what the house looks like now because surely Miz Reznick will surely wave her decorative wand over the place and dress it all up in her signature style of Tinseltown decadence that Your Mama might describe as a brooding, nighclubby sort of girlish-glam that often but not always employs a downright fearless and almost fetishistic use of chatoyant and reflective materials. If ever there was was a lady-decorator who might try to dress up an architecturally ho-hum home with a louche set of deep purple taffeta lined black patent leather drapes it would be our gal Faye Resnick.

It is Miz Resnick, of course, who is responsible for the design of Paris Hilton's in-house nightclub lounge in her current home and the person who conceived or at least facilitated the installation of a—ahem—stripper pole in Miss Hilton's former home on North Kings Road, just above the Sunset Strip. We sorta doubt that's what she has planned for her and her fiancée's new digs in the Hollywood Hills but we'd be shocked dead if there wasn't at least one or two mirrored dressers up in there somewhere when it's all said and done.

Anyhoo, Miz Resnick's most recent residential real estate acquisition puts her in the the same neck of the Hollywood Hills as über artist David Hockney, Oscar nominated actor Jake Gyllenhaal, Oscar winning movie star Forest Whitaker, t.v. actor Brian Austin Green and his hotsy totsy action flick actress wife Megan Fox, former sitcom star Justine Bateman and, not too far away, sharp tongued comedienne—and Cher confidant—Kathy Griffin.

P.S. In case any of y'all might be wondering, yes, it was Platinum Triangle super-broker Maurcio Umansky, the hunky hubby of long-time family friend Kyle Richards of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, who represented Miz Resnick and her Mister Jack Jr. in the purchase of the property.

listing photos: RE/MAX Olson & Associates

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

Morally Corrupt Faye will no doubt do some tragic spell on the house and all who enter will be entranced by the wickedly sinful ways of Faye.

However the children would like to see before and after pics after her wizardly ways.

Watching RHOBH Faye seems to be the villian/hated one this year. Maybe her house can deflect her whims of tacky articulations or maybe mirror her own image? Hmm Thoughts??

Anonymous said...

Fey needs to add some Lisa V glamour and Brandi sass to the house or else it will be uninspired just like the new owner

Anonymous said...

mama, ex-dodgers owner just dropped $50m on a 5th ave apt in NYC.

orlando warehouse rental said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

ah it's the "morally corrupt" Faye Resnic hehe.

Dr. Delachambre said...

Oy Faye strikes again!

Good floorplan and the house is nicely oriented on the property...
With the right tasteful gay decorator (or Mary McDonald) certain aspects (cheesey wrought-iron railing on veranda, too much wood in the kitchen, gutthoseuglybathrooms, & add some limestone flooring on the veranda, for instance) could be swapped out for a higher end look and this could be quite charming.

BUT--unfortunately for said Casa, the MCFR will cast her voodoo Muppet Barbie spell on it and it will probably end up looking like the "Home Goods" version of a haunted house...I predict lavender moiré drapes, crystal chandeliers, and, as Mama said--mirrored surfaces and some other Vegas-y Marriott-esque tripe...Nice, if you like Velveeta...

Doug-G said...

I was glancing at news regarding the national debt before coming to Mama'a place and that got me to wondering if perhaps California could help the US out. It seems there is a way: The US debt is currently about $16,400,000,000,000.00 and the total land and water mass of the Golden State is 104,765,440 acres. All we have to do is find someone to buy California for $156,540.00/acre and we're home free. Of course the buyer will also be expected to assume the outstanding debt of the State of California and its numerous communities.

Let's get some ads posted and get rolling on this.

DC Guy said...

"....up a long, upsloping gated driveway where it's encircled by a thick stand of mature trees that ensures celebrity style privacy."

Too bad Faye Rancid is NOT a celebrity. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I hate to say this because i find faye resnick absolutely horrible, but she got a good deal and the house has a lot of potential.

Anonymous said...

I have seen this house up close. It is not nice. Funky entry, low cielings down stairs, funky laundry room set up. Hopefully they are raizing it to build something nicer.

MamasBoy said...

Mama, I work between 2 and 4 jobs at any given time--and I musta been a damn prince in a past life because I am tired of the 'merde.'

I come to realeastalker.blogspot.com pretty regularly, and I have since I randomly discovered you one night when Janet Charlton's website crashed and Google led me to the post you did on her awkward mid-century modern...

Mama, you never let me down when I stop by--and this is no exception!

Thanks for all you do,
MamasBoy

Heri said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

@MamasBoy: It is completely redundant and ridiculous that you refer to Mama's blog by its full URL in the comments section of said blog. Mama knows her URL and so do the other children reading your comment (how else would they read it unless they were already on the page). So, I hereby declare your comment to be completely useless and void of any intellectual merit. In such a case, it would be wise to suspend your future comments until further notice.

Anonymous said...

so can she redecorate the house herself or it would be like a layer representing himself in court? :)

dont know how that is seen in interior decorator circles :)

best
revro

real estate in indore said...

Faye Resnick is really lucky.She has got good deal!Awesome living space!Quite exclusive!This is really a fascinating blog for me!

real estate in indore said...

Faye Resnick is really lucky.She has got good deal!Awesome living space!Quite exclusive!This is really a fascinating blog for me!

Thomas said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

@ Anonymous 7:40 AM

Leave MamasBoy alone. His charming comment compliments Mama's blog without the useless sarcasm found in your comment. Clearly, he appreciates Mama's work.

Your quasi-Anglophile sarcasm is better suited for the day-core.

Viva! said...

The Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick fascinates me in the creepiest way, I don't know how this woman has survived in LA for as long as she has but dammit, there she is.

The house has potential to be gutted completely and made into something special. The mature trees and positioning in the hills you can't easily duplicate.

For some reason I am sure Kathy Griffin is thrilled for Faye to be moving in her neighbourhood, instant material for her act.

Anonymous said...

Poor house, almost feel sorry for it. It has great potential, too bad the Morally Corrupt Faye will soon wave her evil wand upon it.

Anonymous said...

Forever morally corrupt Faye Resnic is the one I can't stand watching RHOBH. Is she going to be a regular on the show? Maybe that's why she has bought that house.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Faye Rancid WISHES she were even a D-List celeb! Try more like Z-list. Skank!

Anonymous said...

Ugh....such sad news for the neighborhood. She is just icky. And Brian/Megan sold their house a long time ago -- Mama needs to update her notes.

homes for sale on cordell said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
MamasBoy said...

MamasBoy is Mama's Boy.
FTH

diamond wedding set said...

The renovated but entirely uninspired interior spaces include hardwood floors and a fireplace in the open plan living/dining area on the upper level. Interesting sharing.

Anonymous said...

I am great friends with the former Mrs. Everett Jack - This Faye ResDICK is far lower than EJ could ever stoop... If you hang with trash, you start to stick... If you lay down with a dog, you shall get up with flees. It's so sad how EJ is now doing lines with this heffa, and wasting away his entire fortune and life. Don't feel badly about his beautiful ex-wife though - Masters degree, published author, wonderful mother and colleague... Good luck and Godspeed, EJ - You are going to need it sir. Sad, Sad, Sad... Your daughter is very ashamed of you now. You have yourself to thank for that.

New Launch Condo said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Loraine Hood Jack is a real woman. She should be happy to be done with
EJ or senor butthead a he is known to us. EJ will do anything with anyone to further himself in this world. I hope Faye wants an open marriage as EJ has never been faithful to anyone including Faye....just ask his secretary Rene'

sullivan said...

Faye is evil... She is trying so hard to be famous. Too bad she will never amount to anything worth while. She will always be known as an ex-drug addict, married to get the money she has, and nothing but an instigator and a bully.

Lenka said...

I hereby declare your comment to be completely useless and void of any intellectual merit. In such a case, it would be wise to suspend your future comments until further notice.
Kitchen Countertops Long Island

Jimmy Smith said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Aryan Smith said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lenka said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Faye is a hot mess down to the core..good luck real housewives of Beverly Hills